two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
