this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
no you cant smoke seaweed
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
