oh god the rape fog is back!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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