matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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