This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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