a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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