I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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