remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
