Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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