i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
this must be what syphilis tastes like
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
They took my balls.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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