Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Randomize
