Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
