don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
