Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
