He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
