We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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