1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
