I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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