matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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