like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
