I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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