Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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