I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
