I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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