i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
