I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
