I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
