oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
