I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
