I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
