I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
