I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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