I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
