There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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