Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
