Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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