god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
