I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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