hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
