Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
im six kinds of drunk right now
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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