I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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