Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
