i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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