she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
