Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize