Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
