He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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