We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
