phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
