Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
