I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Randomize
