she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
