You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
