Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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