So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I didn't notice because vodka
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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