i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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