You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
