So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize