Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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