I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You were trust falling into bushes
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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