Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think I sprained my soul last night
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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